Tag: #busyness

The need to stay busy

Downtime is sometimes too quiet for my mind

Truth.
So much truth here.
Downtime is sometimes too quiet for my mind. It makes me think all the things and I fight it so hard. If I’m busy there isn’t time to think.

This morning I got up, went to CrossFit and kicked my own ass. Super pumped and full of all those happy endorphins. But on the drive home I spontaneously combusted into tears.

This is my life. I try to ignore all the feelings but my body gives me the big 🖕 and makes it happen anyway.

It’s random and crazy and this is why no minute of my life is the same mood. It is what it is for now. Things are just different. I am just different. 💙

Learning to find peace

In a world full of doing, doing, doing

In a world full of doing, doing, doing, it’s important to take a moment and just breathe. Or so people tell me. Sometimes relaxing and taking a minute brings me pain and heartache so deep I can barely breathe. In those moments of unbusy, I find myself thinking all the thoughts, the what-if’s and overwhelming sadness takes over. But not always. More times than not I now find myself laughing to myself or smiling thinking of some ridiculous thing Nikolai would do or how much he would find joy in something. Those are the moments I need to grab onto and embrace. Sadness is a part of me now, but by focusing on the beauty in the moment I am learning to find peace. It is good for my soul🦋