Today I had an exceptional day. I had coffee with two amazing women who are helping me fight the good fight, building awareness for mental health and suicide. We are doing exceptional things and pushing things to a new level of advocacy and I am so excited about all of it. Today, I feel like I am conquering the world in your honor.
Nikolai, I want you to know that I am finding more of my days to be like this. And what makes it better is knowing that this is what I am supposed to do – this is God’s calling for me. These women were put in my life at the exact time that I needed them. At the exact time WE needed them. To help us get the hard work done. The important work.
I do all of this in your honor and to impact the lives of people I may never know.
Some days though the heartache of losing you hurts so deeply. And some days I feel as if I’m not doing near enough, fast enough. I get tired and sad. Some days I have to take a step back and quiet myself.
Many days I experience both in the same day, like last Thursday. We educated so many, yet it was so very, very hard. This morning was fantastic. Tonight is very reflective. I suspect this is how it will go for a bit.
But we have a humongous tribe of people advocating for us and with us and the impact we are and will make I pray is enough to bring great change. I take heart in knowing we are making a difference.
I love you Nikolai. I miss you.